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10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen
10. Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.
9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.
8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?
7. Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse. Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor. Dreamy”
6. Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or paedophile.
5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake.
4. Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.
3. Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.
2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.
And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?
1. Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.
10. Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.
9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.
8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?
7. Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse. Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor. Dreamy”
6. Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or paedophile.
5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake.
4. Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.
3. Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off.
2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman.
And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen?
1. Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.
Literature
10 ways to annoy the Volturi
10 Ways to annoy the volturi
1. If you're a vampire go sunbathing and ask Aro if he wouldn't like to come because he looks quite pale.
2. Ask Heidi where she got her contacts because you'd love to have orange eyes for next halloween.
3. Put in plastic fangs and put on a cape. Then go stand in front of Marius and say " Ooh, big vampire hunter! Have mercy for this poor vampire!"
4. Come up with a few of baby-vampires and hand one to each female of the coven, saying them you want to do an experiment on their maternal instinct.
5. When Aro touches you, seeing your memory, imagine as good as possible that he is walking trough a flower-covered
Literature
10 ways to annoy Renesmee
10 Ways to annoy (teenage) Renesmee
1. Call the discovery channel (or something like that) and tell them Nessie is currently living in the house where you are in. When they arrive at the cullen residence make sure Renesmee opens the door. Go standing next to her and say. " Et voila! I present to you : Nessie!" (It would be even better if you could get Jake to call her Nessie at that moment XD)
2. Ask her if she'd like to take Jakes paw in marriage one day.
3. Don't invite Jacob on your wedding but do invite her and tell her it's a "Safety percaution"
4. Ask her if she thinks Jacob is hot while he is standing next to you (and they aren't t
Literature
10 Ways to annoy Jasper
10 Ways To Annoy Jasper...
1. Glare at the horizon and say "Hey, Jasper, aren't those newborns? Looks like they're coming to get Nessie." When he is some meters away from the hikers you shout "Oh wait! They're humans!"
2. Say Alice he told you he was longing to go to Milaan for a week with her, solemnly to go shopping.
3. Make Jasper babysit on Renesmees human friends once she goes to kinder garden. At the same time, take your biology assignement about blood in front of you and ask Jasper what blood is consisted out of again.
4. Shout out "bloody hell" when something goes wrong, then turn your face towards Jasper and say "Oh,sorry Jasper.
Suggested Collections
This was hard... why? Because Esme is wayyy too nice.
Anyway... enjoy!
Alice: [link]
Bella: [link]
Carlisle: [link]
Charlie: [link]
Edward: [link]
Emmett: [link]
Jacob: [link]
Jasper: [link]
Rosalie: [link]
PS: Everyone who has issues with this should just get over it. I'm not saying this because I'm all "oh my godz, you can't b badmouthing myz fictional characters!!11!one!!". In fact, I am the complete opposite of that because I am so over the Twilight series it's unbelievable. It's just that, if you don't like it, you don't read it. Dosn't that seem simple enough?
Anyway... enjoy!
Alice: [link]
Bella: [link]
Carlisle: [link]
Charlie: [link]
Edward: [link]
Emmett: [link]
Jacob: [link]
Jasper: [link]
Rosalie: [link]
PS: Everyone who has issues with this should just get over it. I'm not saying this because I'm all "oh my godz, you can't b badmouthing myz fictional characters!!11!one!!". In fact, I am the complete opposite of that because I am so over the Twilight series it's unbelievable. It's just that, if you don't like it, you don't read it. Dosn't that seem simple enough?
© 2008 - 2024 nikatil
Comments276
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Hum... 1 and 9 are just really cruel.
I`m sad for Esme, now
7 is funny, but I like Esme too, I would not try to annoy her.
Is there someone so cruel that would do number 1?
I`m sad for Esme, now
7 is funny, but I like Esme too, I would not try to annoy her.
Is there someone so cruel that would do number 1?