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10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen

10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9. Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride.

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7. Ask how Tanya is.

6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face.

4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen?

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.
Edward Cullen is awesome. Enough said.

Alice: [link]
Bella: [link]
Carlisle: [link]
Charlie: [link]
Emmett: [link]
Esme: [link]
Jacob: [link]
Jasper: [link]
Rosalie: [link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconaubergine100:
Aubergine100 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2017  Student General Artist
#2 is my favorite :D
Reply
:iconpheonia:
pheonia Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2017  Student Digital Artist
I love number one, soooo much.
Reply
:iconartisticninjacat:
ArtisticNinjaCat Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Laugh LOL Laugh LOL 
Reply
:iconregina316:
Regina316 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2016
Heh, numbers ten and six are actually really funny. And speaking of funny, when I see Bella mentioned, I can never help thinking of the one from Harry Potter instead. Switching the two might get... interesting results, ech? (Bellatrix would so ruin Edward) *snicker*
Reply
:iconhannibus42:
hannibus42 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2016  Student Writer
0. Remind him of what terrible book series he lives in, and what a disgrace he is to such a classic monster!

Then burn him at the stake while yelling "this how you're supposed to react to sunlight!"
Reply
:iconshaman2216:
shaman2216 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2017
^Favorite
Reply
:iconhannibus42:
hannibus42 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2017  Student Writer
Yep.
Reply
:iconobelis:
Obelis Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
This is eight years old and now I can see it in Hot section... so many weird things happen on the internet. :XD:

No.4 is my favorite. :thumbsup:
Reply
:iconquick-5:
Quick-5 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2016
How to annoy Edward Cullen: tell him that fanfiction that is somehow worse than his series is a very successful book and movie franchise.
Reply
:iconmrswedethegreat:
MrSwedeTheGreat Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2016
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning!
Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental
hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the
staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so
they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the
machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died.
Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on
a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you
and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and
she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if you copy and paste
this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow.You
will either get kissed or asked out, if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl
Reply
:iconslowkingrock3r:
SlowkingRock3r Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
cancer
Reply
:iconmrswedethegreat:
MrSwedeTheGreat Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2016
Yes
Reply
:iconsirvaxel:
SirVaxel Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning!
Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental
hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the
staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so
they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the
machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died.
Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on
a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you
and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and
she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if you copy and paste
this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow.You
will either get kissed or asked out, if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl
Reply
:iconmrswedethegreat:
MrSwedeTheGreat Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2016
Yes
Reply
:iconsirvaxel:
SirVaxel Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning!
Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental
hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the
staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so
they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the
machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died.
Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on
a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you
and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and
she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if you copy and paste
this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow.You
will either get kissed or asked out, if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl
Reply
:iconsirvaxel:
SirVaxel Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning!
Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental
hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the
staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so
they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the
machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died.
Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on
a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you
and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and
she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if you copy and paste
this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow.You
will either get kissed or asked out, if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl
Reply
:iconsirvaxel:
SirVaxel Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning!
Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental
hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the
staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so
they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the
machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died.
Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on
a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you
and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and
she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if you copy and paste
this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow.You
will either get kissed or asked out, if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl
Reply
:iconsirvaxel:
SirVaxel Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
WARNING! Carry on reading! Or you will die, even if you only looked at the word warning!
Once there was a little girl called Clarissa, she was ten-years-old and she lived in a mental
hospital, because she killed her mom and her dad. She got so bad she went to kill all the
staff in the hospital so the More-government decided that best idea was to get rid of her so
they set up a special room to kill her, as humane as possible but it went wrong the
machine they were using went wrong. And she sat there in agony for hours until she died.
Now every week on the day of her death she returns to the person that reads this letter, on
a Monday night at 12:00 a.m. She creeps into your room and kills you slowly, by cutting you
and watching you bleed to death. Now send this to ten other pictures on this one site, and
she will haunt someone else who doesn't. This isn't fake. apparently, if you copy and paste
this to ten comments in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tomorrow.You
will either get kissed or asked out, if you break this chain u will see a little dead girl
Reply
:iconredfix426:
Redfix426 Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
This made my day.
Reply
:iconsirvaxel:
SirVaxel Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I'd post 5 more but you get the point.
Reply
:iconcatshavenorules:
CatsHaveNoRules Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2016
Totally nailed it.
Really.
Thanks for making me smile c:
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconxxnattaxd:
XxNaTTaxD Featured By Owner May 17, 2016
nmr 8 more like necrophilia xD
Reply
:icontrevin8273:
trevin8273 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
What
Reply
:iconfire-whisker:
Fire-Whisker Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2016  Hobbyist Photographer
;-; Im the noob who has no idea how to write my stories without using 'Journal' 
IDK What to do!! XD *Noob brain intensifies* 
Reply
:iconjosephblakeparker:
JosephBlakeParker Featured By Owner Edited Apr 28, 2016  Professional Writer
Google "Deviant Art St.ash Writer" (the period is not a typo). It's DA's WYSYWYG and the way in which writers write stuff without the journal page. I'll link it below. 

sta.sh/
Reply
:icondestinyriv6430:
destinyriv6430 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2016
thats fun but jasper's was funny 
Reply
:iconsexyboy007:
Sexyboy007 Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2015
Can you all laugh at me kissing ass please and favourite it

sxc1.deviantart.com/art/Alex-the-Kissass-570349127
Reply
:iconcaramelkitty77:
Caramelkitty77 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015
*Put on the lis*
I should try some of these.
They are good vampires, they won´t kill me... of course not...
Reply
:iconalison99554:
alison99554 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014
Edward is a perfect example of a ranga; he has no soul Dignity Laugh 
Reply
:iconpboyd5:
pboyd5 Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2014
This is so brilliant on so many levels :iconclappingplz: :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz:  :iconclappingplz: 
Reply
:iconlara00:
Lara00 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
WAHHHAAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Reply
:iconwaterenchanter:
WaterEnchanter Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
(laughing so hard i cant breathe)LolKnee-Slapper XD Laugh 
Reply
:icondlyanblake1666:
DlyanBlake1666 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*Edward walks into the room sees Dylan sitting on the couch next to Jasper and Alice*
Dylan: (thoughts: ♫But there are several other very important differences, Between human beings and animals that you should know about♫)
Edward: *sneers at Dylan*
Dylan: *Grins flashing serrated teeth*

the next day Edward gets a call

Like a virgin, Touched for the very first time, Like a virgin♫

Edward: Dylan!
Dylan: *nudges Emmett* All Yours have fun! *bolts up a wall Leaving Emmett confused*
Edward: *blocked by Emmett, looks up the Wall* You did this!!!
Dylan: Aw What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy? *Emmett starts cracking up*

Ok I'll quit now... nice work Nikatil!

Reply
:iconlara00:
Lara00 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
WAWAWAWHAAAHAAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
Reply
:icondlyanblake1666:
DlyanBlake1666 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Me: Aw shucks Eddy You mad Bro?

Edward: *Jumps up at Dylan, who promptly dodges*

Me: it's a wonder You don't play basketball...


Reply
:iconlara00:
Lara00 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Pffffft xD
Reply
:icondlyanblake1666:
DlyanBlake1666 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*Three hours Later*
Reply
:iconscarletquill:
ScarletQuill Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013
Hahaha!
Reply
:iconisavegas:
isavegas Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's called "The Bad Touch," not "Discovery Channel." xD
Reply
:iconang3lloveforsin:
ANG3Lloveforsin Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
hahahahahahahahahaha! XD
Reply
:iconartemisthemoongodess:
ArtemistheMoonGodess Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Lolollooll
Reply
:iconkhondjii:
khondjii Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013
I had finally hit rock bottom this came at perfect timing for me this showed that money is power I had to share this with someone
[link]
Reply
:iconmaerorem-caligo:
Maerorem-Caligo Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Professional Writer
I laughed so freaking hard at number one.
Reply
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