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fan fictions: Twilight by Baby-near-of-cute

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Submitted on
June 28, 2008
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1.2 KB


110,145 (7 today)
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10 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen

10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to “jump for it”.

9. Tell her if she was just a few centimetres shorter she could legally be a midget.

8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can.

7. Tie her up in a straightjacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin.

6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan “I’m melting.”

5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic.

4. When she gets a vision, ask if her “spidey senses” are tingling.

3. Trip her up and ask if she saw it coming.

2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes.

And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen?

1. Email her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines.
I love the Twlight Series.

Any other suggestions?

I have done this type of thing for all the main characters... because I love them <3

Bella: [link]
Carlisle: [link]
Charlie: [link]
Edward: [link]
Emmett: [link]
Esme: [link]
Jacob: [link]
Jasper: [link]
Rosalie: [link]
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meeeee7078 Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2014  Student Artist
7 is cruel
DlyanBlake1666 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Alice:*thinks for a bit then holds her left arm and gives Me the guilty little girl look*

Me: Aw what!?

Alice: *continues the look*

Me: Mother of the Matriarch! *hangs upside down from a branch looking away from Alice*

Alice: *continues the look*

Me: *Attaches Facehugger to My own face in order to cover eyes*

Alice: *continues the look*

Me* *muffled from the facehugger* FINE! *gives back the purse pulls off the face hugger*

Facehugger: *Chrip, chrip, growl* (Translation is explicit)

Alice: Thank You Dylan! *struts away pleased with Her success*

Me: Guh Whatever.

Sorry if it took too long.
DlyanBlake1666 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Me: *sneaks up behind Alice and grabs Her purse from her and runs*

Alice: Hey! Dylan come back here!

Me: *stops* C'mon Alice! jump for it! *hold purse above head*

Alice: is this a short joke!? UGH! You Tailed... Bald... UGHARGH! *stops foot Glares at Me*

Me:* troll face* You mad?

Awesome work Nikatil!
NatsukiNekoChan Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hahaha, it sounds fun, but you'd better not mess with a vampire XP
monomeggy Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013
hahaha number 3 had me laughing
ArtemistheMoonGodess Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Lol these are just too funny
kenjindomini Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013
I had tried everything because of this im always one step ahead ive finally reached the top keep this between us
WoIfshead Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013
Earn money at home using the Internet
zd-studio Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013
I am finally became Boss
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